


Dolls

by romanticalgirl



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-10 14:49:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1160965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 8/28/99</p>
    </blockquote>





	Dolls

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 8/28/99

Willow gave Oz a quick hug and hurried toward the library. She'd promised Giles she'd be there right after class, but the lure of a few Oz smoochies had put her behind schedule. She looked down at her watch - seriously behind schedule.

She turned the corner and headed for the double doors. Suddenly, a strong, masculine arm draped itself across her shoulders. She turned her head slightly, looking up into Xander's deep brown eyes. 

"Hey, Will. I was wondering if you could do some of that tutoring magic that you do so well. I'm a little behind inall of my classes, so I need all the help your amazing brain can give me." 

Closing her eyes for just a moment, she allowed herself the guilty pleasure the feel of his skin against her neck brought. She stopped walking and stared pointedly at his arm. "I thought we talked about this." 

"What?" 

"I told you we can'tI can't do this anymore." 

"I'm walkin' along the hall with my best bud." 

"But I belong with Oz now and he has to know that." 

"He does know." Xander didn't understand. "You guys are back together. He knows that there's nothing between us." 

"I can't give him any reason to think there might be." Her eyes pleaded with him to understand. "It's not you, Xander"

"But it is. We're supposed to be best friends and I can't evenNever mind. I'll see you later." He pulled his arm from her and walked away, obviously upset. 

Willow sighed, her heart heavy. Why did it have to be so hard? Why couldn't everything be back the way it was? Or the complete opposite of what it had been? Why couldn't she love one or the other? Why did she have to love them both? 

She stopped walking when she heard the soft ping. Looking down, she saw a necklace with a shiny aqua stone. She bent down to pick it up. Her hand almost connected with another. 

"Sorry." 

Willow wrapped the thin chain around her fingers and stood. The other girl followed her movements and smiled. Willow returned it. "Is this yours?" 

"Yes and no." The brunette smiled. "It's this weird project I'm doingyou're just going to think I'm insane." 

She shook her head. "Trust me, it would take a whole lot more than a necklace to make me think you were anything other than normal." 

The other girl stuck out her hand. "I'm Anya." 

"Willow." 

"So, about the necklace." She led Willow to the student lounge, away from the library. "It's a family tradition - I have a strange family - and it's my turn. All the girls in my family get these necklaces when they're born. And whenever one of us turns 18, we have to find some other girl to give it to." 

Willow looked dubious. Okay, maybe it was weird. "I see." 

"Mom says it's for good luck. You prove that you can give up something you've had with you for your whole life, and you're a better person." 

"I see." Willow held the stone up to the light. "It's beautiful." 

"Would you like it? I turn 18 today, so it's my turn." 

"I couldn't"

"Oh come on, Willow. If you don't take it, who am I going to give it to? I want someone who will appreciate it. Please?" 

She lowered it and smiled. "Okay." 

Anya smiled. "Maybe it will bring you good luck too."

*****

Willow headed for the library and this time she was really, really late. Giles was going to have a fit. Or at least make that clucking sound with his tongue. She really hated when he did that to her. She opened the doors, surprised there was no one there. 

"Giles?" 

"He's not here." Xander came out of the stacks with an armload of books. "Had some teacher's meeting. I'm library guardian. And study boy." 

She looked at him and smiled. "Do you want help still?" 

"No." he shook his head, his whole body seemed closed off from her. "I wouldn't want Oz to get the wrong idea about us being here alone together. That might put a damper on your relationship." 

"Xander, I"

He turned away from her, running his hand through his hair as he stared down at the textbook in front of him. She felt as though something had just punched her in the stomach. Backing out of the library, she decided to just go home. Maybe she could let things cool down a little and then they'd get back to normal. 

She walked, rubbing the gem of the necklace absently. She sighed, wondering if there was any way to make this easier. She looked up at the blue sky. "Sometimes, I wish there were two of me." 

Anya, following her at a discreet distance, smiled as her true face shone through. "Done."

*****

Bright light assaulted her and she hissed as she backed into the shadows. She looked around the Bronze and realized quickly that something was different. Moving her head so that her shoulder length red hair fell off her shoulders, she smiled. She was somewhere else, even though she was home. 

"Hey! Who's there?" The large, bald man rounded the corner and came face to face with her. "What are you doin' here kid?" 

Willow smiled, looking innocent despite the black leather and low cut bustier. "Sorry. I was hungry." 

"We don't serve food until the club opens. How the hell did you get in here?" 

She looked down at the floor, pretending to be shy while her face changed. She looked up quickly and grabbed him by the throat. "A good choice of words." 

He gurgled against her grip and she dropped him. He stood up, screamed and started to run. 

"Oh goodie. I love it when they run."

*****

Xander buried his head in his arms. Math formulas swam in his vision, but he didn't register anything except the horrible feeling in his chest. He didn't know how to do this anymore. Willow was his best friend. And, while it was true he didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that, she was also so much more to him. He played along, for the sake of her happiness, and pretended that it didn't bother him that she'd chosen Oz. But if he was honest with himself, he wanted her. 

Needed her. 

He took a deep breath and pushed away from the table. This wasn't doing him any good. He needed to resign himself to the fact that Willow was with Oz and there was nothing he could do about it. There was no way Willow was going to want him again. 

*****

She licked her fingertips then her lips. Staring down into the wide, frightened, dead eyes, she allowed herself to smile. He tasted so good. People always said that fear made the blood run cold, but she'd found it heated it to a nice tasty temperature. The only thing that would have made the kill better was if she'd been able to share it with Xander. 

Dining with him was always so erotic. They'd capture their victim between them and he'd hold her close through the body. The blood would connect them in ways no one else could ever share and then they'd usually find someplace secluded to transform the blood lust into simple, unadulterated lust. 

She wondered what he was doing right now. Probably wondering where she'd gone. Or perhaps she'd simply vanished from his memory as well. That thought caused her to growl. He was hers. True, he'd made her, so technically she belonged to him, but everyone knew nothing and no one ever came between Willow and Xander. 

She heard sounds coming from the main room of the club and ducked into the women's bathroom, dragging her victim with her. Stuffing him where he wouldn't be discovered for a while, she slipped into one of the stalls to relax. Night was coming. And with it she would find some of the answers she sought.

*****

Xander trudged into the Bronze and slid onto the stool at their regular table. No one else from the group was there yet. He wasn't even sure why he'd come. He felt depressed. A small gasp caught his attention and he looked up. 

"Wow. Wills, what are you wearing?" His heart stopped. He was pretty sure it had stopped. But not in the homecoming-Willow's-all-grown-up sort of way. More in the oh-my-god-I-think-I-better-dump-a-glass-of-cold-water-on-my-lap sort of way. She was wearing a leather bustier with red silk covering the top swell of her breasts. There were leather pants and sleeves too, but he couldn't look away from her cleavage. She looked pale and beautiful. "And why haven't you worn it before?" 

"Xander." Her voice was different, but he couldn't place how. She held out her hand to him. "Dance with me?" 

"I thought there was to be no touching." A slow, sensuous song was playing and there was no way he could dance with her and not touch her. 

"I've changed my mind. A woman has a right to do that, doesn't she?" 

"Aaaa"

She smiled and took his hand lightly in hers. His hand was warm, killing any hope that she had of him being *her * Xander. Not that he didn't have his advantages. He was innocent enough, warm enough, alive enough. She let him slide his arms around her waist and moved closer, resting her head against his shoulder. The smell of his blood was overpowering, but she promised herself that she would wait. She'd fed recently enough that the need wasn't strong. 

Xander closed his eyes and thought about dances that were etched into his memory. The first night they'd met Spike, when he'd danced with both Willow and Buffy - all friendly and innocent. The day Buffy had sent his temperature sky-rocketing with her blatant dance of seduction. The dance in Willow's room that had led to their first real kiss. 

Nothing compared to this one. 

He was holding her in his arms in front of most of the population at Sunnydale high and she didn't care. She didn't care who saw them. She was snuggled against him, several important body parts pressed closely to a few choice ones of his own. He really needed that glass of ice water. 

He closed his eyes, leaning down to press his lips to her ear. The only thought on his mind was getting her out of the club and somewhere where they could talk uninterrupted. Talk and maybe a few other things. 

"Xander!" He started at Buffy's call, not noticing Willow's flinch. He raised his hand in greeting. 

"Come on, let's go back to the table." 

"II have to go to the restroom." She realized in a rush that this place's Willow existed. And Xander obviously loved her very much. A sad smile touched her lips. Were they always destined to be together? In life, unlife and in death? "I'll be out in a bit." 

He nodded and let her go. Shaking his head, he walked to the table to join Buffy, Faith, Oz andWillow? "Willow?" His voice betrayed his confusion. 

"Yeah?" She looked up and smiled at him, hoping that their earlier differences were behind them. They were never very good at staying upset with each other. 

"Youyou look nice." He glanced back to the restrooms, unsure of what was going on - what exactly the Hellmouth was doing to him. "Buffy, you want to dance?" He led the Slayer out to the floor, his eyes searching the crowd. 

*****

The cemetery was dark and quiet, as all good cemeteries should be. Willow sat on one of the headstones, listening to the lovers that were parked nearby. They were getting rather heated and her hunger was rising. If she was going to see Xander again, she needed to feed. She didn't want to spoil the surprise of who she was just yet. It was obvious that he now knew something was going on, she'd sensed her counterpart's presence in the club. Two Willows, no waiting. 

She strolled patiently through the thin gathering of trees, listening to the soft grunts and moans coming from the car. Licking her lips, she waited for the throes of their passion to build to a peak. Only sex made the blood hotter than fear. As she heard the girl's cries speed up, she ripped the door off the hinges and grabbed them both. Widening her jaw, she sank her fangs into the man's neck, letting his lover watch him die. She struggled in Willow's grip knowing it was futile. Her eyes were wide with fear. Her screams of passion becoming screams of terror. 

Willow loved the screaming.

*****

Xander clutched the cross in his pocket. He hadn't wanted an escort home. Besides, his choices were not exactly the best. Buffy, his buddy who would want to know what was wrong, Faith, who would taunt him about their one-night (okay, one fifteen minute) stand, or Willow and Oz, very subtly letting him know he was encroaching on smoochie time. 

He stopped short when she stepped out of the shadows. If he hadn't know it before, he knew it now. This was not his Willow. 

"Xander." 

"You disappeared. Is it like one of those science fiction movies where if you two are in the same space, you disintegrate?" 

"I"

"Xander." Faith's voice was loud in the stillness. She jumped off the cemetery wall and landed beside him. Looking over Willow, she laughed. "Nice. You're boyfriend know you have that stuff? I didn't think you and Oz were into that." 

Her expression sent a rocket of hope through Xander. She had no idea who Oz was. Suddenly, he had an intense desire to sneak her into his room and never let her out, never let her meet him, never let her fall for anyone but him. "Willow's"

"You're a Slayer." Willow's eyes narrowed and the hope in Xander's heart died. Her eyes were yellow. Yellow eyes meant one thing. 

"Yeah, and I can kick your ass. So if this is about the Xander thing, well"

"Xander. Thing?" Couldn't Faith hear the changes in her voice? Xander could sense them plain as day. Which if it were day, he wouldn't be hearing them, so maybe that wasn't the phraseand he needed to keep his mind on track. 

"Playing dumb doesn't suit you, Brainiac. You know you're jealous that I got to Harris here before you did. Not my fault you decided to bed the werewolf and not the boy." 

Willow's game face dropped into place and she launched herself at Faith. Taken aback, the Slayer felt herself slammed to the hard concrete. Willow straddled her chest, her knees holding Faith's arms down. "You're no match for me, Slayer. I kill little girls like you all the time. I'm the Master's favorite for a reason. And no one, especially not a two-bit tramp like you, will ever take my Xander from me." 

She reached down and snapped Faith's neck. Tilting her head, she sighed. "No screaming from her. No running either. Bored now." She looked up into his horrified eyes. "You liked her?" 

"WiWe...Will?" He backed away from her, panic filling him. "Why are you here? What are you?" 

Sadness seemed to radiate off of the vampire wearing his best friend's face. "I love you Xander." She jumped to her feet and ran, heedless of what lay ahead.

*****

Buffy caught site of someone hunched over a prone body and slipped the stake out of her sleeve. She approached cautiously. The moon came out from behind some errant clouds and she had a clear view. Not a vampire. 

"Xander?" 

He was kneeling next to a body, rocking back and forth slowly, mumbling something under his breath. She walked up to him and rested her hand lightly on his shoulder. 

"Xander?" She looked down and gasped. "Xander? What happened to Faith?" 

He looked up at her, his eyes vacant. "Willow's a vampire. Willow's a vampire." His laughter was slightly crazed, so Buffy slapped his lightly. He shook his head and came back into his eyes. "Willow's a vampire, Buffy." 

"We have to get to the library." She looked down at Faith's body. She looked peaceful, despite the odd angle of her neck. "I don't want to leave you here alone." She was worried about him. He seemed delusional, but in Sunnydale you couldn't take the accusation of vampire lightly. Even if it was about your best friend. "There's a pay phone over there. I'll be right back. Okay? Xander? Are you okay?" 

He broke into sobs, tears running down his cheeks. He tried to nod, but couldn't manage it. Sinking fully onto the pavement, he curled up into a ball and cried.

*****

Giles helped Xander to his feet and led him to Oz's van. He handed him a cross and stood him in front of the side door. "I want you to see someone." 

"You're going to show me Willow. I know. She's not a vampire. Not *our * Willow. But ask anyone the Bronze tonight and they'll tell you that before Willow showed up with Buffy, I was dancing with her. She," he pointed toward the van, "isn't a vampire. But there is a woman who looks exactly like her who is." He looked at the older man. "I wouldn't lie about this, Giles." 

"I know. And I'm prone to believe you. Something - someone - of great power killed Faith. Killed a Slayer. And if it is someone who looks like Willow" Giles looked at Buffy holding hands with the visibly disturbed hacker. "Well, I can't imagine that's going to be easy for any of us." 

Xander walked toward the van, the weight of the world on his shoulders. He looked up just as Willow's small frame slammed into him with a strength he didn't know she possessed. She hugged him to her, reminding him vividly of the dance he'd enjoyed earlier in the evening. He let his arms travel slowly around her, hugging her back. 

She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. "I was so scared. I was so afraid something had happened to you. I couldn't bear it if something happened" she hiccuped and sobbed at the same time. "Xander" She buried her head against his chest and he tightened his grip. He closed his eyes and rested his chin on her head. 

"I'm okay, Wills. I'm all right." 

"Buffy said that you saw a vampire that looked like me and she killed Faith." Her eyes were dark with horror, and he knew she was thinking of the time she'd found those bodies in the school. 

"It's okay. We'll go to the library and figure out what's going on." He let her go, moving his hand to her waist to guide her back to the van. "I'm okay," he whispered. Looking off into the night, he saw a shadow move and knew she was watching. He wondered why he didn't say anything.

*****

Giles rubbed his tired eyes. They'd found nothing about alternate universes so far and certainly nothing about portals between them opening. He settled the glasses back on the bridge of his nose and looked at his charges. Buffy was sitting at the end of the table, her chin on her hand. She was trying desperately not to fall asleep, but it didn't seem to be working. Oz was face down in a book, snoring lightly. Willow was standing on the stairs leading to the stacks staring down at Xander. Xander sat on the floor of the rare book cage leafing through a book half-heartedly. 

"The police just called about Faith. Ruling it an accident, saying she landed wrong when she jumped off the wall." Giles' voice was rough and tired. 

Xander nodded. "Figured they'd come up with a lame story like that. Will a new Slayer be called?" 

"I imagine so." Giles leaned against the doorframe. "I hope she never comes here. I hope I never see a Slayer other than Buffy ever again. They don't seem to last long." 

Willow walked down the stairs and went to sit next to Xander. "Are you still all right? You seemdistant." 

"I saw Faith die in front of me, killed by someone who looks just like you." His voice was soft. "It's enough to wig you out for life. But I just want to find some answers." 

She nodded and reached over to grab his hand. She thought about the night they'd been here researching Lagos and the Glove of Myneghon. The night she'd grabbed him and kissed him. The night that she sometimes wished had never ended. "When I first heard, I was so scared you'd be afraid of me. I was scared that you wouldn't let me touch you or be close to you again." 

"Why were you scared, Will? It's already like that. We can't touch, we can't look, we can't be close. Isn't that what you said earlier? You belong to him." He pulled his hand away; wishing that his heart didn't feel like it was about to explode. 

Willow bit her lower lip and struggled to keep her tears from falling. She sometimes forgot that he was suffering far more than she was when it came to their discovery. Oz had forgiven her. Xander still had to endure Cordelia's insults and barbs. He had to watch her with Oz. Her green eyes sparkled. "I'm sorry Xander." 

"For what?" He stood and walked out of the cage. 

"I forgot about your feelings." 

"You're happy Will. Besides, how many years did you suffer watching me fall for every woman on the planet who wasn't you? How many years did I break your heart? How many times did you cry over me?" He smirked. "I deserve it really. So don't worry." He placed the book on the table and looked through the skylight. "It's going to be daylight soon. I'm going to go home and shower. We should wake everybody up so they can get ready for school." 

***** Willow paced the small mausoleum with barely controlled hunger. She'd fed quite a bit the night before, but the need to rip open someone's throat was strong. Perhaps the pulsing of blood across her tongue would get the image of his haunted eyes out of her mind. Ridiculous that one boy's reaction to her could cause her so much pain. 

But this wasn't any boy. This was Xander. 

She growled. That horrible girl had slept with him. She'd corrupted him. She'd taken from him the gift he should have willingly bestowed upon her or her counterpart in this dimension. She'd deserved to die. How could a person not see the longing in their eyes? How could they not see?

She thought about the way she'd flung herself into his arms. The way he'd hesitated before holding her to him. Something else was between them. But they knew, in their hearts, what their destiny was. They were just foolish enough to try to deny it. 

There was a soft squeak in the corner and, with superhuman speed, she grabbed the rat. Glaring at the snack, she sunk her fangs into its tender flesh. It would do. For now.

*****

Buffy walked down the hall next to Willow. "You okay?" 

She shook her head. "No. The thought that there's someone - a vampire - walking around wearing my face scares me more than anything I've ever experienced. Well, almost. The thing that scares me the most is that Xander doesn't seem to be afraid of her." 

"Because he thinks she's you." Buffy shrugged sadly. "He sees you in her and he's still in love with you." 

"Xander's not in love with me." Willow stopped walking and stared at her friend. "Why would you say that?" 

"Do you really think that he risked his first real, stable relationship with the most popular girl in school because he was just lusting after you?" Buffy laughed softly. "Willow, he's got it bad for you. Like you used to be." 

"Before Oz." She resumed walking. "Why does it have to be so complicated, Buffy? Why couldn't it be easy? I meet Xander, we fall in love. Or I meet Oz, not Xander, and we fall in love. Why does it have to be I meet Xander, I fall in love with him, he falls in love with you then Ampata then Cordelia, then I meet Oz and fall in love with him, then Xander falls in love with me and I fall in love with him all over again?" 

"And I thought my relationships were complex." Buffy laughed. "Life's not easy, Will. It's horrible and complicated and we don't get to pick the way things turn out." 

"So speaks the expert on destiny?" Willow giggled, the earlier tension easing away. "We have to keep an eye on him, Buffy. I think she might come after him again." 

"I know, Will."

*****

When darkness finally fell, she pushed the door aside and exited the mausoleum. She heard the muffled sounds of a fight coming from her left so she went to the right. No sense in getting caught up in someone else's business. Thinking for a moment, she decided to try her luck. It may be a different universe, but chances were Xander's folks lived in exactly the same house. It gave her great pleasure to think that tonight, if she wanted, she could suck the life out of the two most horrible beings on the earth. She could easily punish Mr. and Mrs. Harris for all the horrors they visited on their son.  
"Excuse me, Willow?" An older lady smiled at her from her car. She'd pulled over to the side of the road and was climbing out of her car. "I was wondering if you could help me carry these books into my house?"

No name came to mind, so obviously this was someone she'd never met back home. But she could be Willow. "Of course." She took the armload and started toward the small house that bordered the graveyard. The older lady followed her, talking all the way.

"Would you like to come in for some tea, dear?"

Willow's voice changed slightly as her face shifted. "I'd love some."

*****  
Xander stood at his window, staring out at the night. He knew she would come to him. He wasn't sure why. He didn't know why she was here or what she wanted, but he knew that she needed him. Apparently no matter what they were, they needed each other.

A soft sound caught his attention and he raised the window. A warm breeze blew in, carrying the scent of lavender and vanilla. "Hello, Willow."

She sat on the roof, staring up at the stars. "Xander."

"What are you doing?"

"Thinking." She lay back. "My Xander…he never noticed me. At least I thought he never did, but I was wrong. The night he was caught, he was walking home from my house. I'd been sick and he had come to see me, despite the curfew. I don't know who sired him, he would never tell me. I cried all during the funeral. I had nothing else, you know?"

He nodded.

"Then, that night, there was a knock on my window. I knew that vampires were real. We all did. We knew that demons walked the earth and there really were things that went bump in the night. I didn't care. I opened the window and asked him to come in."

She turned her head to look at him, smiling when she met his eyes. "Did he?"

"Yes. He told me that he couldn't live without his Willow. Asked me if I would join him. He didn't say he loved me. For love, you have to have a soul. And he didn't. Doesn't. He kills without remorse. We enjoy it. All the parts of it. The chase, the catch, the cries, the kill. But he needed me. He had loved me, when he was human. He was just afraid that he'd lose the only thing he had if he tried to change it."

"Guess things aren't that different no matter where you go." He sat up and climbed back inside his bedroom. "I know that you're a vampire. And being a vampire I shouldn't trust you. Ever." He looked over at her, losing himself in the green pools of her eyes. "But I also know that you're Willow. Not my Willow, but Willow nonetheless. So you have to promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"You have to promise me that you won't kill me. And, believe me, I know how stupid it is to trust the word of a vampire, but promise me, as Willow, that you won't kill me or turn me."

"I promise."

His heartbeat quickened. "Would you like to come in?"

*****  
She sat gingerly on his bed, watching him as he moved nervously around the room. "Xander? Is she okay?"

"Who?" He looked up, confused.

"Your Willow. She seemed scared last night." She shrugged. "I didn't mean to frighten her."

"Death does that to her." He walked cautiously to the bed and sat near her. "Do you know why you're here?"

"No. I just appeared. Then when I felt your presence…I knew you needed me." She set her hand lightly on his upper thigh. Her finely tuned senses told her that his blood was moving faster - all in one direction. She chuckled softly. "She loves somebody else, doesn't she?"

"Don't kill anyone else."

"It's what I do." She looked him in the eye. "I kill people Xander. For fun and pleasure and food. Just because I won't kill you, doesn't mean I won't kill anyone else."

He was silent, contemplating what she'd said. "I…"

She pressed her lips firmly to his. He shivered at the combination of their coldness and the flush of heat that suffused his body. She tasted like Willow. She smelled like Willow. She felt like Willow.

He tangled his hand in her hair, holding her in the kiss. Her body pressed invitingly to his, the leather hard yet supple against him. His other hand wrapped around her waist to pull her closer.

She licked his lips and he willingly opened his mouth for her. Their tongues danced, fighting for mastery. She was obviously more experienced and, capturing it, sucked on his tongue eagerly.

He moaned against her mouth as her hands traveled down his chest to his waist. Lifting his shirt, she ran her cool hands over his heated flesh, playfully teasing the hard nipples on his chest. He removed his hand from her hair and lowered it so that he could feel the soft weight of her silk and leather clad breast in his hand. He shivered involuntarily as she arched her back to press against him.

Using her vampiric strength, she pushed him back onto the bed and wrapped her arms firmly around him, much like Willow had done the night before…Willow. He broke away from the kiss and rolled away from her, breathing heavily.

She snarled. "What?"

"No, wait. I can't."

"What?"

"You have to understand." He backed away, trying to put some distance between them even though he knew that she could easily catch him if she wanted to. "You're not the Willow I want."

She stood, slowly unhooking the front of her bustier. "You're mine, Xander. No matter what world, no matter what universe, no matter what. You're mine. Only mine." She regarded him. "I could make you mine right now."

"No." He shook his head and swallowed hard. "I'm hers. You're her, but you're not. And I belong to her. No offense."

She backed away, sitting back on the bed. Her shirt was half-open but she didn't seem to notice. "None taken."

"Uh…Will? Could you…button…"

She looked down and laughed. "Sorry. I…" She was interrupted as his bedroom door swung open.

Willow froze. So did Willow.

*****  
Buffy sat downstairs in the Harris' living room. Willow had told her she needed to see Xander alone for a moment to make sure everything was all right between them. Buffy had refrained from telling her that she thought the only thing that was ever going to make the two of them all right was a nice, long, luxurious roll in the hay.

Willow probably wouldn't take kindly to that suggestion.

She sighed and flipped on the television. This could take a while.

*****  
Xander clamped his hand over her mouth and closed the bedroom door behind her. "Promise me you aren't going to scream."

She nodded. Her eyes never left the other woman. He pulled his hand away and she smiled quickly at him. "So…" She caught sight of the undone bustier. "You were seducing him."

"You obviously haven't had the guts." Willow smiled at herself. Is that what she looked like now? "Besides, I understand you have someone else. Shouldn't I be allowed to have him?"

Green eyes met brown. "Is she who you want Xander? A demon with my face?"

"I can't have you," he whispered. He bit his tongue. He hadn't meant to say that.

"All right then. One for you, one for Oz. I hope you're happy." She turned and fled the room, not wanting to analyze the horrible ache in her chest. She reached the bottom of the stairs as what she'd said registered in her mind. "Buffy?"

The Slayer bolted to her friend's side. "What's up? Is he okay?"

"He's fine. I think I know what happened. I think I know what caused this."

"What?"

"Me."

*****  
Giles muttered under his breath throwing angry glances in Willow's direction. The hacker blushed and ducked her head before going to hide in the stacks. Buffy glared at Giles, pulling him into his office. "What is with you? She said she was sorry."

"She called another vampire here. As if we were running short on our own supply." He sank into his chair, frustration at an all time high. "Not only a vampire, one that looks just like her. One that seems intent on killing people and seducing Xander. So tell me Buffy, how are you going to kill your best friend?"

"Sure, if you look at it that way…"

"It's the only way to look at it. Don't you see? She is a powerful vampire. She killed a Slayer. A very strong Slayer. Xander is going to get himself killed."

"I won't let him die." Willow stood in the doorway of the office, her eyes downcast. "I'm sorry Giles. Had I known…I didn't know just wishing something could make it happen. And I sure didn't expect I'd be some crazy, sexual vampire who dresses in low-cut leather."

Buffy's eyes widened. "Leather?"

"Apparently I'm not quite so shy where she's from."

"I can't believe you left Xander alone with her."

"She was ducking out the window when I walked in," Willow lied. "He'd obviously invited her in. He obviously knew that she was a vampire. I…" She sank down onto the chair with a sigh. "He knew she wasn't me. But he let her…"

"I didn't let her do anything, Willow." Xander stood in the doorway. "She kissed me. But that's it."

Buffy grabbed Giles' arm and wheeled him and his chair out of the office, despite his sputtering protests. She shut the door behind them, giving the two best friends the privacy they needed.

"Why did you let her? You must have known she wasn't me."

He nodded. Sitting next to her, he stared at the painting on Giles' wall. "I did. I knew she was a vampire. But…I guess a part of me just thought if I couldn't have you…If I can never have you, because you're in love with him, then why shouldn't I take advantage of this? You made it absolutely clear that we're through."

"So you turn to the evil version of me? Do you want to die that badly?" She stood angrily. "She's not me! She'll never be me!"

"And you'll never be mine!" He realized he was screaming at her, but couldn't help himself. "I have to sit there everyday and watch you be with him. I have to pretend that it doesn't matter to me that you chose him instead of me. I have to pretend that I don't care that you don't love me anymore!"

"You don't love me! You're just acting on your hormones like you've done since the first day we met!" She was yelling too now. "You saw a pretty girl and decided that she looked good enough to kiss. Then when you found out she'd kiss you back, you kept doing it."

He looked like he'd been slapped. "Is that what you think? Is that what you think I did? You think this was all about how you looked? I couldn't help but kiss you that night. I couldn't help it because, for once in my life, I couldn't control my feelings around you. I swore to myself that I would never let anything ruin our friendship."

"Is that why you were dating Cordelia? To keep our friendship on a strong, even footing?" She poked him in the chest, her anger getting the better of her. "Is that why you lusted after every other girl in the universe even though you knew I was in love with you? Is that why you're trying to ruin the first stable relationship I've ever had in my life?"

"Fine." He turned toward the door. "It's obvious I'm ruining your life. It's obvious that you'd be better off if I wasn't around to mess things up for you. So, I'll just go." He pulled the door open, startling Buffy and Giles who were both desperately trying to pretend they hadn't heard. "I'll just get the hell out of your life so you don't have to put up with me anymore."

He walked stiffly from the library, his rage like a living thing inside him. He'd never wanted to hit something so badly. As he walked, the rage subsided overtaken by intense sorrow. He'd just walked out of Willow's life and she hadn't tried to stop him.

*****  
Buffy held Willow tightly, letting the other girl cry. Giles looked on helplessly. He was completely unsure of what to do. "Willow? Are you okay?" Buffy pulled away and made the younger girl look at her. "Wills?"

"No. I'm never going to be okay again. How could I say those things? How could I?" She fingered the necklace she was wearing before realization dawned. "Giles? Have you ever seen this before?"

He walked up to her and examined the aqua stone. "No. It doesn't look familiar. Why?"

"Someone gave this to me yesterday. I was holding it when I made the wish." She met his worried eyes. "Maybe you could research it?"

"Certainly. Um, what are you going to do?"

"Find him. Before he does something stupid like let me kill him." She furrowed her brow. "The other me."

"Want company?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah. And a stake. And if you could help me come up with an apology, well that would be nice too."

*****  
Willow paced the length of Xander's room impatiently. The hunger was coming and she'd have to leave soon to feed. She was waiting, hoping he'd return and ask her for eternity, but she didn't expect it. He loved this world's Willow far too much to accept anything less than the real thing. Besides, he seemed as though he had much more to live for than her Xander did.

Making the decision, she slid out of the window and jumped to the ground. She saw movement up ahead and slowly began stalking it. She could sense it was a vampire, and therefore not exactly dinner, but she hadn't had a good fight in a long time. Taking advantage of her innocent reputation in this world, she called out. "Excuse me?"

The creature turned around and she gasped. Angel.

"Willow?"

"My puppy." A slow grin lit up her face as she walked into the moonlight. "I've missed my puppy."

"Willow? Are you all right?"

She loved the element of surprise. She launched herself at him, much as she had done with the Slayer. He gasped and hit the ground. "Hello, puppy."

"Willow?"

Her game face on, she leaned in closer to him. "Not quite."

Angel's eyes widened and he shoved Willow from his chest. His own face slipping into play, he watched her warily. "Who did this to you? Why didn't Buffy tell me?"

"Xander turned me, puppy. You know that. Don't you want to play with Willow?" She smiled and tossed her hair. She loved playing with puppy. "Come on. Play now?"

Angel backed away from her, his confusion plain. Xander had turned her? He was apparently *really * out of the loop. "Willow, I don't want to play with you."

"You're not going to play with me, puppy. I'm going to play with you." She stepped forward, ready to attack when she saw Xander. His face was a mask of sorrow. Someone had hurt him. She ignored Angel and went to meet him.

Angel grabbed her arm and whirled her around. "We're not finished."

With all of her might, she wrenched his wrist. Satisfied at the sound of bones breaking, she pulled out of his grip. "Xander needs me."

*****  
Willow and Buffy hurried toward Xander's house. They had to catch him before she did. They had to. Willow's resolve face was firmly in place. She didn't speak; her urgent steps did all her talking for her. Her mind was moving faster than her body. She had to know the right words to say to him. She had to find the emotions that would keep him hers.

She stopped short as realization dawned. Buffy looked at her curiously but remained silent. He loved her. He'd said it. He was willing to die to be with her. Her eyes met Buffy's and the Slayer smiled at the look in them. "He does love you, Will."

"What about Oz?"

"Well, I guess you have to decide what you want. Really want. Not who you feel you should be with, but who you need to be with." She resumed walking; knowing it was still urgent that they find him.

"How do I know?"

"You just do, Will. Who lives in your heart?"

*****  
Xander stopped walking as the leather clad legs appeared before him. He looked up at her, wondering briefly what it would be like to die. "Are you guys still together?"

"There has only been him." She smiled. "You."

"How does he treat you?"

"He gives me whatever I need. Lets me indulge my appetites. We're partners."

He nodded, noticing Angel approaching them. "I see you've met Willow." He noted Angel's game face. "Don't worry, she's promised not to kill me. I trust her."

"She's a vampire."

"So are you."

Angel stepped back. Xander sighed. "Does it hurt to die?"

"No more than you're hurting now." Willow's eyes lit up with pleasure. He was going to give himself to her. He was going to tilt his head and allow her access to him. She could almost imagine the taste of his blood. Her hand reached out to stroke his cheek. "Let me take the pain away?"

"No." They both turned at the sound of Willow's voice. She stood next to Buffy, her hands on her hips. "I'm the only one who can take his pain away."

"You cause him pain." She turned to face herself, her fangs bared.

"You always hurt the ones you love." She turned to Xander. "I'm sorry. If I could take all of your pain away, I would. If I could take back the things I said, I would. I can't make up for the past Xander, but please give me a chance at the future?"

"What about Oz?" He refused to look at her, knowing if he saw her tears he would capitulate.

"I love Oz. But I'm in love with you. I always have been. I always will be." She pointed to the vampire. "She proves it. Just like Buffy is the chosen one, we're destined to be together. Who am I to fight destiny? We're just like dolls, Xander. Somebody's played with our lives and we have to act it out. I'm just glad that whoever it was decided I needed you."

Snarling, the hunger overtaking her, she grabbed his wrist and pulled her to him. Holding him so that he faced his Willow, she bent his head slightly forward and to the side. "He belongs to me."

"No." She walked toward her, holding the stake behind her back. "He's mine. I love him. You just don't want to be alone."

"I can take his pain away." She licked her lips and lowered her head. Xander, at the very last second, swung his head back and connected with hers. She howled and backed away. Willow sprang forward with her stake and impaled the creature through the back. Xander faced her, his own stake right through her heart.

They stared at each other as the dust settled around them. Both were shaking. Finally Willow smiled tremulously. "I love you Xander."

"Even though I just killed you?"

"I think I committed suicide."

He shook his head and held open his arms. She fell into them, losing herself in the feel of his warm skin. He barely noticed Buffy going to Angel's side. He wrapped his arm around her and, with his right hand, lifted her chin. "I'm going to kiss you now."

"Oh Xander, I wish you would."

*****  
Giles finished reading about the amulet and knew what he had to do. While this universe was not bad, he knew it wasn't right. He knew he had to put things back the way they belonged. He looked over at Xander, seemingly content with Willow snuggled in his lap. Buffy sat across from them, her whole being concentrated on the vampire next to her.

He wondered what things were like where they belonged. He wondered if they all had found love like they knew here. He wondered. Then he smashed the stone.

*****  
Willow snuck into the library, silently making her way over to her best friend. She'd gotten halfway home before turning around. Sitting next to him, she lay her hand gently on his arm. He lifted his head and stared at her.

"I'm sorry, Xander. I know it's not easy. I wish it were. I want to be your friend. Your best friend. And maybe somewhere down the line, we'll find something more. But right now, I need what I have." She stroked his cheek and stared into his eyes. "I have a feeling though, that we'll find what we're both looking for somewhere down the line."

His brown eyes smiled back at her. "I love you, Wills."

"Yeah. And you're stuck with me." She leaned forward and pressed her lips lightly against his. A jolt of electricity surged through them both. "I'm really looking forward to the future, Xander."

"Near future?" he asked playfully.

"Not near enough."


End file.
